T MINUS: 0 Days Part 4

I'm back from dropping Jacob off at the jacuzzi party, in bed, and reflecting. I'm sleeping alone tonight because I need some time to myself. Maverick is cuddled up by my side, purring his little heart out. And do you know what his purring reminds me of? Love. He wants nothing more than to be with his people, his family, us. That, and maybe a good bug to chase every once and awhile. And that's what Jacob has become to me. Family. We're together now, forever, just us against the world. It's a strange journey from just another person on the street to family, but I couldn't think of anyone else with whom I'd rather be. You know, sometimes we disagree, get annoyed with each other, want some alone time... but then I think about how giving he is, each and every day. How much he is willing to change his life to be with me. And how I am aching and yearning to do the same for him. That's what I've learned so far about marriage, about commitment- that's it's not commitment to each other, but for each other. To go through thick and thin, to the end and back.

We took one last family photo together before he left. It's not the best photo- we look tired and sweaty. But what matters is that this represents what we're going to be- our new family.
I honestly can't believe it's 9:45pm, the night before our wedding. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous, but the truth is- a calm has come over me. The anxiousness is gone, the nervousness never appeared, and I'm ready to go.

This is it. I've never felt this sure, this ready before. To celebrate with our friends and family this afternoon was such a wonderful blessing, and I can't believe we get to do it tomorrow as well. Finally, confirmation that this is real. We're not playing any more, we're not just "boyfriend and girlfriend" or even "fiances". We're going to be married, and I'd be a liar if I didn't say that I've been looking forward to this for practically our entire relationship. Did you know that, a month into dating, Jacob told me that he thought he could spend the rest of his life with me? I was only 20, and had no idea what wanting to spend forever would feel like, or if I would ever get the privilege of feeling that feeling. But now, I get it. I want to spend forever. I am so lucky to have found someone to spend forever with. How did I get that lucky? I'll never know, I guess.

This is it. I feel like I will sleep tonight- unlike last night. Rested, and ready to celebrate the beginning of a new life together.

This is it.